You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
