I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's official drugs can't kill me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
