Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
