Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
