I'm lost and stupid without you.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
