the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
