When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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