Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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