I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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