Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
