her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize