do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
