Betty ford says i'm here all night
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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