I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize