he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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