Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
