apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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