is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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