Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
