my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
