got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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