WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Panties = found
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
