Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
