And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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