so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
