im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
