Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and she was petting her beer can
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
