Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize