Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
