i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
