if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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