i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
