Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
