Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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