found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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