well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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