So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
