Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
