Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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