HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
