I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
