I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
