tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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