I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
