It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
