My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I understand Curling. That high.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
