He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
