Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
