Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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