she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
