I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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