I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
