You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
tell me about the eggs
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