If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
